– If Joe Namath doesn’t like you, Joe Namath will tell everyone. Sorry, Plax.
– Niners RB Frank Gore finally signed a three-year, $21 million contract extension. Coach Jim Harbaugh said that someone should make a movie out of Frank Gore’s life “because it’s an awesome story.” Justin Long as Jed York. Calling it now.
– Although Cincinnati RB Cedric Benson said he’d be serving his 20-day prison sentence during the bye week, he’s apparently already in jail as of late Tuesday. Just getting amped for the year with a little preseason jail time. Continue reading »
– Titans CB Tommie Campbell plans on making the most of his shot at the NFL, after working as a janitor at Pittsburgh International Airport. The fortitude it takes to clean bathrooms day after day put basically everything else to shame.
– Yet another group of former players are suing the NFL and its affiliated helmet companies for willfully concealing the long-term effects of brain trauma. If only they could remember what those effects are…
– The Vikings’ stadium contract expires on Feb. 1, and there is growing concern among the owners that a deal may not be struck. LA has Zygi Wilf on speed dial. Also, Wilf … what does that stand for? Continue reading »
Note: I apologize for the brevity of today’s links. A pretty slow news day combined with the fact that I am sick as hell means you’ll have to live with this. Go read a real newspaper or something.
– If you wished Arian Foster well (hamstring injury) so he could come back and run it for your fantasy team, he hates you.
– The Raiders have asked Terrelle Pryor not to take the No. 2 jersey because of its association with JaMarcus Russell. That, and JaMarcus is probably still wandering the streets of Baton Rouge wearing it.
– Roger Goodell will not punish Titans WR Kenny Britt for his myriad arrests during the lockout. That’s nice, but I’m sure Britt will give Goodell a reason to punish him soon anyway. Dude’s done everything from eluding police apprehension to promising to pay a friend’s bail and not doing it. That is not cool.
– 49ers RB Frank Gore, who still doesn’t have a deal, reportedly “snapped” at the assistant coaches. Oh god no. Not snapping! Behavior worthy of only turtles.
– Ravens WR Tandon Doss broke up a fight at Five Guys before the Thursday’s game against the Redskins. Maybe the people fighting were as mad about the peanuts as me. Why the hell do you have peanuts? I’m going to be eating ten pounds of delicious fries in five minutes. YOU’RE SPOILING MY APPETITE AND MAKING A MESS.
– Reggie Wayne was none too pleased with the suggestion that the reanimated corpse of Kerry Collins could be the Colts’ starting QB. Most of his points are legit (Collins is no Manning — duh — and that he doesn’t know their playbook yet), but Wayne’s disrespect for Collins’ Penn St. education is a little ridiculous. Reggie, you went to Miami. Come on now.
– ESPN wonders aloud what Michael Vick’s life would be like if he was white … and accompanies it with a photoshop of what they think a white Mike Vick would look like. Answer: Vanilla Ice.
– Chad Ochocinco plans on reimbursing rookie Mason Foster for the $20,000 fine incurred for his hit on The Ocho. He told Roger Goodell of his intentions via twitter. I say up the drama. Next time, carrier pigeon.
– Hey, remember how the NFL was going to do HGH testing this year? Yeah, that’s probably not gonna happen for a while.
– Lions rookie WR Nate Hughes (Alcorn State) also happens to be a registered nurse. I imagine an average day in his life going something like this: Hey, does this mole look kinda weird to you? How about this one? Could you maybe just take a look at this weird thing on my back real quick?
– Ravens rookie Torrey Smith was recording a promo for his alma mater Maryland when the earthquake hit. He was standing in a nice, safe field, so naturally he made a run for it. (Bonus points for the guy on the lawnmower who clearly thought his mower had been possessed by the devil.) Continue reading »