– Adrian Peterson’s father told the media that his son is frustrated by the lack of second-half carries the Vikings have given him, echoing the sentiments of millions of fantasy owners across the nation.
– This is how I imagine this went: Dan Orlovsky was sitting at home, watching his former team fall apart, when he got a phone call. “Hey Dan,” said Jim Irsay cheerfully. Then, there was a long pause and some muffled sobbing. And now Orlovsky plays for the Colts again!
– The Niners unveiled their hypothetical Santa Clara stadium plans. Santa Clara is still shaking its head no.
– This glittery Raiders-inspired makeup look will go over great with all your Black Hole friends!
WATER COOLER FODDER
– It’s the last day of the MLB regular season, and angst couldn’t be higher in the Red Sox nation. The rest of the nation kindly asks them to STFU about curses, God hating them, etc. God hates the Pirates. Just the Pirates.
– Carlos Tevez refused to come in as a substitute in Man City’s game against Bayern Munich yesterday. Yeah, that didn’t go over well.
– Matt Kemp did a very Mark Sanchez-esque photoshoot for a feature in Flaunt magazine. He may not win MVP, but he definitely already won the wet T-shirt contest.
– Fox Sports is suing the Dodgers for breaching their TV contract. Man, it’s been a great year for Frank McCourt.
TODAY’S SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
– A throng of piranhas attacked 100 beach-goers in Brazil. Arrrghhhhhh.